If a promise is broken or a lie is being told my life gets shortened by a little, I would be pals with Hades by now. As cliche as it sounds, only princesses who live in castles, have an entire kingdom worshiping her, and maids to wait on her day and night get to meet a perfect man. A mediocre maiden like me don’t seem to have the right to have my prince charming swipe me off my feet and take off into everlasting happiness on a brilliant white horse. Well maybe I get a nice looking bloke who comes round with a donkey, whatever the case, at least he isn’t looking like a baddie. So I follow him, thinking I may have a chance to meet Happiness, even if it isn’t everlasting. Instead, I’m led straight into this cavern of pitch darkness, the kind where you can’t even see your fingers or who the man in front of you is anymore. You can also call this huge cave a relationship, or my relationship at the very least.
In a world of lies, you are the truth.
Singers always croon to such beautiful lyrics that make love seem so touching, so wonderful, like it should definitely be sought after. But why does mine make me believe that promises are meant to be broken instead, and that it’s nothing but a pack of lies. Even in a story book, the kid is only given three chance. How many chances should I give my boyfriend? A thousand? Oh he’ll surpass that easily. He’s gonna need more than that if we got married and live together. So why shouldn’t I make things simpler for both of us and just end this whole stupid relationship. We’re both living a lie right now. He keeps promising me that he’ll change and that he can indeed do it. He believes that. And he believes I’ll never ever leave him. On the other hand, I sorta believe he’ll change, albeit bit by bit, and I always tell myself he’s still a good boyfriend underneath the ‘not sweet not romantic not thoughtful not gentle’ shield. But wait, what does that leave him with? See, that’s why we’re living a hugeass lie.
I’m completely disappointed. I’m losing hope. I’m losing faith, in him and myself. I’m hanging on a thread and I secretly wish for someone to cut it so I’ll be free. Meeting more guys seems like a better alternative than being in a relationship that can’t eject joy and warmth into my life. I just need a push, seriously.
You taught me how to break a heart.
This just feels so much closer to my heart. All that I’m doing to you, you taught me, when you failed to do what you should time after time.
Learning To Fall 